Unprocessed Emotion Can Kill You, According to Research.

I received several positive responses from readers who enjoyed reading how the Silent Warrior is Killing Your Mental Health, so thank you for your feedback!

Then, it dawned on me.

I realized that guys—I’m specifically referring to men here—all have a preconceived notion of what it means to be a man. The fact we have a preconceived notion is fine. After all, that’s what your upbringing is for: to show you the way in your early years so you can lead the way in your adult years.

The only problem is, what if that preconceived notion is wrong? I’m defining wrong here as anything that brings discontent or harm to you or another person, and right as that which brings joy.

What if how you approach being a man is causing you more harm than good, and you don’t even know it?

You may not be aware of some of the self-defeating beliefs or habits associated with your personal concept of masculinity simply because that’s all you’ve ever known.

That’s okay. Again, not your fault. Don’t beat yourself up over something out of your control. Nobody chooses their parents, and they were only passing on to you what they learned out of a place of love.

But if you’ve ever felt or been told:

...that you need to “toughen up” or “just deal with it,”

…that emotion is “bad” or for “wussies,”

…that men move on from disappointment, despair, or sadness by “sucking it up” rather than acknowledging how they feel,

…then this article is for you.

The truth is, it’s important to process your emotions—not only for mental health but for life longevity (see study below).

But don’t get me wrong. There is a time and place to just power through. If a fellow SEAL was injured or killed during a raid, for example, taking a time-out to care for him wasn’t the priority. Winning the fight was. We just cared for him after getting to a safer place.

And this is an important point because it’s a metaphor for life.

You may ignore an emotion now, but if you never find a time to process it later then what you’re doing is creating a pressure cooker for yourself, and those emotions will be unwillingly released—typically at the most inopportune time and with those you love.

Unprocessed Emotion Can Kill You

Gabor Mate is a world-renowned physician, speaker, and author who is sought out for his expertise on trauma, addiction, stress, and childhood development.